Frigid Heart
by WhiteKitsuneKnight
Summary: His parents were dead. His brother couldn't raise him. And now he had to live with his brother's friend in Russia. So he'd lock himself in his room, knowing that no one heard his cries, and no one would care if they did. AU, Possible OOC Ivan


_**Edit**:_ Um, apparently, I have a hit on this story from someone who resides in the Russian Federation. I just wanted to thank you for taking your time to read my story, and I hope I portrayed your country correctly!  
>(Thank you to everyone else who has read so far as well, and for my first reviewer!) D<br>Aside from the shout out, I fixed the tense on one sentence in the first or second chapter; it was in present tense and it was bothering me.

Um...h-hi Hetalia fan peoples...

I'm Kit, I'm a writer for Super Smash brothers, awesome game series by the way, and um, I had an assignment in one of my classes to write this, and I decided "Hey, why not post it on FNN?" so I did and...um...yeah.  
>Uh, I'm really new to the hetalia fandom, I only started liking it two or so months ago and because I don't really draw for it a lot or cosplay as often as I'd like to, I seem kind of like a closet fan, but I really do like it openly I think... uh...<br>My favorites so far are Russia and Germany, but I really like all the characters so much... I don't think I hate anyone, but I think Estonia can be kind of too smart...ish...and...stuff. Uh...wow.

So here's what I wrote, I know Russia is kinda OOC, but this was Alternate Universe, so that sort of had to be expected...right?  
>Um...yeah, this isn't LatviaXRussia at all, it's completely platonic, so...it should be taken as such...<br>I'm more of a fan of hetalia because I like history and it makes it fun... I mean I don't go home and watch it to complete an assignment but... it makes history exciting... and stuff... I think other cultures are fascinating and ...yes I'm an American...I'm just one of the intellectual...nice...polite ones...not that my people aren't nice or intelligent, they can be, but...yeah

I'm really not this timid usually, I'm just new to the fanbase, and the last time I was new to a fanbase, all the other fans were a lot older than me and they kinda put a lot of pressure on me. Not that they intended to, it's just that they were all nearly out of college and expected really mature writing, and since I'm not that age, I'm not as developed as they are and...yeah you probably just want the story...

So here it is :D

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><p>Raivis stuck close to Ivan in the crowded market place. It was easy to get lost in a place like this. Being Latvian, Raivis didn't like people in such close proximity to him, but he had no choice; everyone needed food, and that was why all of these people were here. Despite all of the people that flooded the street sides, everything was so cold. Well, yes of course literally, Russia was frigid, but the people were so aloof. Everyone was so distant and taciturn. Ivan acted in this manner as well, walking around with an icy aura around him.<br>Oh, Ivan was Raivis'… "Father" of sorts.  
>After both of Raivis' parents died of tuberculosis, he was left in the care of his older brother, Toris. Unfortunately, the law saw Toris as too young to raise a child, and demanded that Raivis have an older guardian. Ivan just so happened to be a colleague of Toris who was a few years older than he was, so Toris asked Ivan if he would take care of Raivis for him.<br>Raivis still failed to understand why Ivan said that he would raise him if he were to act so flinty.  
>His train of thought came to a crashing halt when he bumped into Ivan, who had turned slightly to make eye contact with Raivis.<p>

"Hey," Ivan mumbled without emotion. Raivis quivered a bit.

"Y-yes?" Raivis' voice was faint.

"You said you needed a new overcoat?"

"Y-yes sir…" Raivis stuttered. Ivan gave a slow nod and turned around.

"Step up onto the sidewalk; we're going to be here for a minute." Ivan pointed. Raivis followed the command without batting an eye. He cocked his head at Ivan, who was talking to a vender. The vender reached down behind his stand and pulled out a thick fur coat. Ivan turned to Raivis and held it out.  
>"Will this do?" Raivis didn't move a muscle aside from shaking in his place.<p>

"Y-yes sir, I t-think so." Ivan turned back to the vender and placed down a handful of rubles on the stand. He handed the coat to Raivis who jumbled out a quick "thank you", and put it on immediately.  
>Ivan stopped at a piroshky stand, and purchased two. He placed one in Raivis' hands and told him to warm his mouth and stomach with it.<p>

"That should hold you off until we get home." Ivan murmured, before turning and starting down the street, Raivis following close behind.

If the cold treatment was the thing that made Raivis uncomfortable, he could handle it. But that was only half the story, and the second part confused Raivis to no end.  
>At home, Ivan was a completely different person.<p>

"Do you like your new coat little one?" He took off his own coat and boots and put them away, before rubbing Raivis on the head gently.

"Yes sir…" Raivis looked off to the side.

"Little one, I told you; you can just call me Ivan. But I'm glad." Ivan chuckled, clapping Raivis on the shoulder twice before heading into the kitchen. "I'm going to start making dinner, alright?"

"Okay. May I go take a nap?" Raivis asked as he took off his own coat and kicked off his shoes.

"Alright, I'll come wake you up when dinner's ready, then?"

"Okay." Raivis mumbled, ambling over to his bedroom. Raivis' room was his retreat. He went there every day after school and stayed there even after Ivan came home from work. He'd stare up at the wall and wonder why _his_ parents had to die, why the stupid government didn't think _his_ brother was fit to take care of him, why _he _had to move to a completely different country and learn a completely new language, and why all this misfortune happened to _him_. He'd keep this all to himself though; he didn't want to burden Ivan, or anyone else with his own problems. But in the darkness of his room, he could feel sorry for himself. Raivis' eyelids felt heavy, and he let himself drift off into sleep.  
>Raivis' dreams normally consisted of his parents' smiling faces and his brother playing with him. He was happy in his dreams and he laughed and smiled. But then, he would turn away for just a moment, or close his eyes to take it all in, and that's when the dream became a nightmare.<br>When he looked back, his parents would have huge holes in their throats, and they'd be coughing and crying out for help, but Raivis could never move. They'd be screaming out for mercy, their arms helplessly lashing out as they turned into skeletons before his eyes. Raivis could see it all and remember each detail, but he couldn't do a thing. Next, his brother would be trapped in a cage, gripping the bars and yelling to be let out. Raivis would still be unable to move. A void would appear beneath him and he would fall down into it, and that was when Raivis would wake up in a cold sweat. He never screamed though; he was far too quiet and timid to scream.

The dream followed its usual pattern as usual, but it didn't stop at the void. This time, it continued.  
>Instead of waking up, the void dropped him into a blizzard. The winds whirled around him, laughing as he quaked in the snow. The gusts flew right into his face, hitting him with icy needles, which knocked him on his back. The winds cackled hysterically at Raivis' misfortune. Suddenly, a loud howl resounded and he looked around to see six wolves made of pure ice. They attacked him, biting him, tackling him so that he couldn't escape. He cried out for someone to help him, struggling as hard as he could to get the wolves off him. People were walking around them, either not hearing Raivis' screams or not caring. They had no faces, and the wolves soon chuckled along with the wind.<p>

_"No one will save you,"_ The wolves hissed with pleasure.

_"No one will care…"  
><em>

Raivis woke up with a soft gasp that only a rabbit could hear. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. The scent of cooking vegetables and meat had reached Raivis' room and he could hear onions sizzling. He got off his bed and opened the door.

"Well, it looks like someone woke up earlier than we thought, huh?" Ivan smiled.

"Yeah." Raivis rubbed his eye.

"Go ahead and sit down, I'm almost done." Ivan motioned towards the table.

"Mr. Ivan…" Raivis felt unbelievably gauche.

"You are such a polite little thing Raivis. Really, you _are allowed_to call me Ivan."

"Ivan…" Raivis mumbled, sitting down. He looked off to one side before finally asking his question. "…Do you like me?"

"Do I like you?" Ivan echoed. He turned off the stove and walked over to Raivis. "Of _course_ I like you!" He laughed, meeting Raivis with gentle eyes. "You're such a sweet kid, how could I not?" Raivis gave a limp shrug. Ivan chuckled once more "Why do you ask? What makes you think I wouldn't like you?" Of all the questions Ivan could ask, it had to be the one that Raivis was praying he _wouldn't_ask. Raivis' gaze now diverted to the floor, and he let out a sigh.

"I…" he faltered. "I don't know… I really don't… I'm sorry, that was a stupid question; please forget I asked it." Raivis winced. His voice broke in the middle of the sentence.

"Are you feeling alright?" Ivan pulled up a chair and sat down facing Raivis.

"I…I'm not sure…" Raivis whimpered, trying to keep himself together. "It's…it's just…" Raivis cursed at himself when his eyes began to water.

"Oh! Oh no… Oh Raivis, please don't cry." Raivis wiped furiously at his tears, trying to dry his eyes and regain composure. Ivan looked very unsure of what to do, but eventually scooted his chair next to Raivis and softly patted his shoulder. "Raivis, what's the matter? I need to know, so then maybe I can help." Ivan's brow creased with worry.

"I-i-it's j-j-just t-that I've g-got no clue h-how things work h-h-here!" Raivis hiccupped. "I-I'm s-sorry."

"No, no, no, don't apologize, it's okay." Ivan shook his head.

"I-I h-had to leave my country a-and everything's j-just so new and s-s-scary!" Raivis continued to rub at his eyes.

"I understand Raivis. I'm sorry; I should have thought about that to help make your transition easier."

"I-it's okay. It's not your f-fault." Raivis wiped his nose with his sleeve.

"No, it _is_my fault; I'm your guardian, I need to do what makes you most comfortable, understand?" Raivis gave a shaky nod. He took a moment to breathe before speaking again.

"I-Ivan?"

"Yes?"

"T-Thank you so m-much for being s-so kind to me…"

"You're very welcome little one. You're a wonderful boy, it's not as if you're misbehaved or anything, I'm happy to take care of you. I've never been a parent or guardian or anything like that before, but I think we can both learn how to cope, okay?" Raivis nodded slowly, and leaned against Ivan's arm. He hesitantly touched the hand that was on his shoulder and let out another sigh. Ivan shifted and lightly squeezed Raivis' hand. "Do you feel any better?"

"Yes, a little…thank you…"

"Would a full belly help with the rest?" Ivan's smile was gentle.

"Yes sir." Raivis gave a faint smile himself. Ivan gave Raivis' shoulder a final pat before getting up and placing the still hot food on the table (how Ivan managed to keep food so warm and for so long was a mystery to Raivis). Raivis waited until Ivan sat down before tucking into his meal, which in fact, did brighten his mood.

"Anything else you wanted to talk about?" Ivan asked with a soft tone.

"I don't want to sound rude but…never mind." Raivis shied away.

"Go on, you can ask."

"W-why is everyone so…distant around here? It… it seems like everyone dislikes each other…"

"Oh that?" Ivan shook his head and gave a faint smile "I guess that's just how society works; most people are quiet in public but we come out of our shell at home. I never thought much of it probably because I grew up here. Does it seem like I don't like you when we're in public?"

"Y-yeah…sort of…" Raivis breathed.

"_Oh Raivis._" Ivan let out a single gust of air from the back of his throat, resulting in a cross between a snort and a sigh of pity. "I wish you had told me. I didn't know how uncomfortable you were."

"So could I tell you next time something like this happens?" Raivis requested in a small voice.

"Of _course_little one; if you let me know what's wrong, then maybe I can help. But in all honesty, I think I've been falling down on the job; I need to learn to read you, and better understand you."

"No, you've been fine; I need to stop being so childish." Raivis shook his head.

"Oh my goodness! You just love beating yourself up, don't you?" Ivan gave a slightly exasperated look. "I'll not tolerate that!" he wagged his finger at Raivis with a good-humored tone on his face, before his eyes became serious. "Raivis, as long as you're living with me, you are not allowed to say those things about yourself, understand?"

"I understand."

"Good." Ivan nodded.

Ivan was really quite a good cook (which Raivis commended him for, considering that Ivan was a single, twenty-something-year-old man who had only graduated from college seven months ago) and not once had Raivis sat down to eat with anything less than salad, soup, and a hearty main course. Unfortunately, this also meant many dishes to wash after dinner, so Raivis felt compelled to help.

"Little one, you don't have to help, I can get it done by myself." Ivan chuckled as Raivis stacked dishes on top of one another.

"But there's so many, and I've got nothing better to do." Raivis coyly rocked back on his heels.

"Alright, but don't feel like you have to help." Ivan rolled his eyes, but not cruelly. It remained silent until they were nearly finished.

"So after this, I'll be going to bed," Raivis stated.

"Bed? Little one, it's not that late out, and I don't want you losing sleep tonight."

"Well…" Raivis mumbled.

"Did you want to stay up and watch hockey with me?" Ivan offered.

"C…could I? I-I don't want to bother you…"

"You won't bother me; you're always allowed to watch television with Me."

"R-really?"

"Of course." Ivan chuckled and rubbed Raivis on the head after putting away the last of the dishes. "C'mon, it's not a school night, it's the playoffs, and Toris told me you like hockey."

"If it's alright then I'd love to join you." Raivis followed Ivan into the living room, and sat down on the edge of the couch next to Ivan, his ankles turned slightly out.

"That's the answer I was looking for." Ivan sniggered, turning on the TV. "If you want, we'll root for Latvia instead of Russia tonight."

"B-but you live here; shouldn't you root for your country?"

"My little one comes from Latvia, and if that's the country he loves, I'll cheer him on."

"…Thank you Ivan."

"You're most welcome." Ivan noticed the cagey way Raivis was sitting. "No need to be a stranger in your own house, you can actually _sit_on the couch if you want."

"O-okay." Raivis scooted a bit.

"I don't take up _that_much room do I?" Raivis had to let out a giggle at that comment. He very lightly rested against the cushion on his left and closed his eyes for a moment. For the first time in a long time, he felt safe and happy. He couldn't thank Ivan enough for everything he had done. Raivis took a deep breath, about to do something that would take all of his courage.

"…Dad?"

Ivan turned from the screen and looked at him with wide, mystical eyes.

"…Yes?"

"…Thank you for everything…" Raivis shyly smiled. Ivan's gaze was soft and touched. He rubbed Raivis on the head once more and squeezed his shoulder before turning back to the screen with an eye on the boy. Raivis closed his eyes just for a moment, and saw snowy plains and six icy wolves with miffed faces, standing on a distant hill. They looked so desperate to launch at Raivis and bite him, but one by one, they turned around and began walking the other way. And Raivis' heart beamed. Those wolves had tried to lie to him; they told him untrue things in hopes that Raivis might believe them, but they couldn't hurt Raivis anymore. Ivan cared about him, and he would do anything to protect him.

And when Raivis opened his eyes again, he saw his father crying out with joy that Latvia had scored a goal against Russia.

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><p>So yeah, that's what five years of practice gives, so maybe ten years from now it will be better?<p>

I hope I made Latvia in character; in the other fandom, there was a character who has a similar personality to his, but people kept telling me I made her far too big of a crybaby, so I don't want to make the same mistake.  
>I really don't think he's OOC, but if anyone strongly dissagrees, you can tell me so that I might be able to correct myself in the future.<br>I was mostly worried Russia was OOC because he's a little more childish than what's portrayed here, but I don't think he's horribly out of character; he's still generally very sweet and kind of oblivious to others' pain until it's shoved into his face.

Um, normally I'll tell people that I really want them to review so I know what I can improve on, but since the verdict shall be made by my teacher, and... things like that, I'm not really looking for reviews as desparately as usual...if that makes sense.  
>Yes, you can definitely review, and I'm not trying to sound like I don't expect any, but I'm not really in need of them, so...yeah.<p>

Uh-huh...

I hope to write more for Hetalia; it's really a very cute series, and I've learned a lot through keeping it in mind. I hope to be a language or historical/cultural major of some sort, and I'd really like to travel to Europe someday.

I hope you liked this!

~Kit


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